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A Bunch of Uses for AOL disks
from: Why America Online Sucks

If you have any clever suggestions you'd like to share, feel free to send email.


Disclaimer!!! This is a JOKE LIST and in no way to be taken seriously! Not meant to offend anyone.

  1. Mini cutting board (great for the office or the car, use metal door for knife).
  2. Attach it to a ruler and presto! - you've got a fly swatter.
  3. Construct a life size replica of Stonehenge.
  4. Use as a pooper scooper.
  5. Glue a few together and then to a stick and use as a fireplace ash shovel.
  6. At a restaurant, shove one under a wobbling table leg.
  7. Money clip (use metal door and discard the plastic case...the "rich nerd" look is IN this year).
  8. Eye patch (for one-eyed software pirates).
  9. Christmas ornaments (the more the merrier).
  10. Give them to young children to use as building blocks.
  11. Glue them to the bottom of the space shuttle and use them as re-entry burn tiles.
  12. Bondo® spreader.
  13. Dentures (melt & form them into new teeth for grandma).
  14. Play Jinga
  15. Everytime your computer crashed, ruin a disk /by smashing it with a hammer! A GREAT way to take out your anger while waiting for a reboot!
  16. Room dividers for hamsters.
  17. Reshingle your house.
  18. New-age charcoal.
  19. Colorful Drink coasters.
  20. SHOVE THEM UP AOL'S %$*&$#%$!
  21. Use multiple disks to create an ideal door stopper.
  22. Ice scraper.
  23. Bathroom tile.
  24. Bookmark.
  25. Mini frisbee.
  26. Air hockey puck.
  27. Dog chew toy.
  28. Dart board.
  29. Pooper scooper.
  30. Grill scraper.
  31. Use them for karate board-breaking demonstrations (save a tree).
  32. Wrist slicer - after receiving first AOL bill (use metal door).
  33. Conversation piece for coffee table.
  34. Destroy them - smash, burn, or run over to relieve stress.
  35. Light switch cover.
  36. Chinese throwing stars (tape 2 together).
  37. Clay pigeons for target practice.
  38. Greeting card (bind two together at one end).
  39. Halloween treat (give them away all night long).
  40. Bullet proof vest (arrange together in triple thickness).
  41. Firewood.
  42. Bird house.
  43. Paper weights.
  44. Pen holders (make a box without a top).
  45. Post it-notes holder.
  46. Refrigerator magnet (glue a magnet to the back).
  47. Use center metal piece as a drillbit. (It's been done)
  48. Replace cobblestones with them.
  49. A very sturdy base for putting the motorcycle sidestand on when parking on soft surfaces.
  50. Keep 'em in the trunk for extra traction in the snow.
  51. Solar Eclipse Glasses (open door and look through disk at the sun/moon -actually works).
  52. Placing one in each back pocket helps children who get paddled by the coach. This spreads the force to a wider area.
  53. Make an AOL disk & pasta casserole.
  54. Incense burners (put stick in hole of disk hub and light the incense.
  55. Bug Shield (glue a bunch to the front of your car's hood).
  56. Put them on car windshields at the mall (along with this list).
  57. Melt the plastic of the disks into a giant sculpture.
  58. Hand them out as party favors.
  59. Hidden/spare key holder (crack open 1 side, insert key and then place near door. Completely safe...who would want an AOL disk?)
  60. Vertical blinds.
  61. Be an AOL diskette surgeon and disect a diskette.
  62. Bench press weights (I can press 120).
  63. Grind 'em up and refertilize the front lawn.
  64. The new "Domino's stuffed-crust pizza" filling.
  65. Tell the kids to leave warm milk & AOL disks for Santa.
  66. Throw at people who talk at movies
  67. Melt the edges and turn them up - use as disposable ashtrays
  68. Tissue Box Cozy
  69. A snazzy dress
  70. Brake shoes.
  71. Scrape gun, dog do-do, mud off shoes/boots/sneakers
  72. House insulation.
  73. Recycle them for the scrap metal.
  74. Kitchen tile for Bill Gates' new mansion in Seatle (Cheap SOB)
  75. Hockey Puck.
  76. Add water and special plant life to make a Chia-Disk.
  77. Noise maker for your bike spokes (why damage your valuable baseball cards).
  78. Put one on a leash and drag it along as you walk...makes the perfect pet.
  79. Donate to local homeschoolers.
  80. Tear off shutter and use as paperclip.
  81. Poker chips.
  82. Baseball practice (throw them up in the air and hit them with the bat).
  83. Keychain (Put a key ring through one of the writeprotect holes and you've got a snappy executive bathroom keychain for the office).
  84. Mail to 10 friends-start an AOL chain-letters (add a disk with each link).
  85. Earmuffs (glue some fur on one side, then attach a U-shaped piece of bent coathanger to both disks).
  86. Grind them up to make fake snow.
  87. Earrings (put loop into write-protect hole).
  88. Dental floss (use actual disk).
  89. Use them for zipper pulls (instead of ski lift tickets).
  90. When your collection of disks reaches 52, use them for a deck of cards.
  91. Use them to fill potholes.
  92. Hood ornament.
  93. Snow blower replacement blades.
  94. Put them in your shirt pocket to make you look smart.
  95. Make two stacks of 10 and use them as heels for platform shoes.
  96. Rubic's cube case (make into box).
  97. Shipping material (keeps your photos from being bent in the mail).
  98. Protect your table from burns caused by hot pots and pans.
  99. Snack trays (great for holding hors d'oeuvres at parties).
  100. Give them as stocking stuffers to all those people who piss you off.
  101. Fly paper (use actual disk and put string through middle, hang 2" apart and apply honey to disks).
  102. Pocket protector (gee Gilbert I really like your new pocket protector -thanks Lewis).
  103. They make a *dandy* addition to a #$*+&% neighbor's back yard. Better yet, get them to actually install it on their computer.
  104. Use them as elbow and knee pads.
  105. Wax scraper for snowboards.
  106. Use them to decorate your aquarium and create Computer City under water.
  107. Tape a few together and use them as a mouse pad.
  108. Collect a large mass and detonate a supernova.
  109. A wind clacker (similar to a wind chime).
  110. Soap dish (remove metal to prevent rusting).
  111. Row markers for your vegetable garden. (carrots, beans, peas....)
  112. Makes the perfect dance floor for your ant colony.
  113. Hot glue gun resting/protecting pad.
  114. Baby mobile.
  115. Fence (may need a few thousand).
  116. Toe tags for mortuaries. Great for identifying dead computer nerds.
  117. Wonderbra inserts for that Madonna-techno look.

  118. Reformat them and use for something ELSE!

    The possibilities really are endless. Remember,Bill Gates learned all he knows about the net from an AOL disk he got in the mail.

    ThingsTo Do With The Free AOL CDs:

    1. BETTER cheap dog frisbee.
    2. Bread roller (use actual disks and put rod through center-use about 100).
    3. Target (clay pigeons, archery target,etc).
    4. Bike reflector.
    5. Earrings (could give to a dumbwife on anniversary).
    6. Use them to draw around and make nice circles.
    7. Silent cymbals.
    8. Break into pieces and use for sandblasting.
    9. Make reflector for solar energy collector.
    10. Tie one to end of rope so it wont go through the pulley.
    11. Slice vegetables
    12. Sharpen them and use as shuriken-like weapons
    13. Build $20,000 sculptures out of them
    14. Walpaper your room with them then install one of those flashing disco lights.
    15. Build Houses out of them
    16. Build a satellite dish out of them
    17. Use as inexpensive holiday decorations